Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fanstatic week!

My talk on friday (at least in my eyes) didn't go as well as I wanted to, and my superviser said I should have concentrated more on the quantum mechanics than the gritty of Monte Carlo, but you can't win them all. Though, as the one good thing, my other supervise suggested publishing my 3rd year project in a journal, and maybe using it as a teaching tool for Monte Carlo simulation setups!

I was talking to the same people about what project I should undertake next year. This was more than a little problem for me, as the topic I have spent the last 6 months on was one of my choice, and had very little external help - they (my supervisers) simply let me go, only giving me a vague goal. While I obviously loved doing just that, it kind-a concerned me that I hadnt been doing actual research, simply a interest project. While they seem happy enough to keep doing what Im doing, I feel a little fear for what a real research job would be like.....

On that topic, I actually got my first job! Being a contract, it isnt true employement(3-6 months of work) but it is inside a research facility, and I'll have to spend some time working out who does the research Im interested in -- apparently they have a huge nanotechnology division. Who you ask -- I wish I could say -- I just signed my life away in a 6 page document which refered to laws from 1903 and serval laws from 2002! Glup. Bet they relise I protested teachers wages and refuse to employ me! The best thing about this job was the lack of interview - A combination of nepotism and "award" winning charm got me this post. And, I should need to work again for the rest of the year if I dont want it! Makes a nice change from the shitty paying jobs I've had till now (uni pays well, but never let any one accumulate any more than about 4 hours per week).

My Grandma just came out of hospital from having a massive section of her skull cut out and replaced (with some cementie stuff), due to a "abmornal" growth - bone tumour. It went well, but I get the feeling that Ill be glade when this year finially finishes -- there has been too much happening and too much to really deal with.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

End of an era

Ah, my last week of uni. Well, last week of paying for my uni. I am just finishing up my project work, and only have two exams left to complete. All up, this last semester has been one of the most enjoyable of my entire time at RMIT.

I say this is week of paying for uni because I just recieved my first batch of summer scholarships, and, baring anything unforseen, I should get the other scholoarships for next year soon. I even had the luck of a laptop scholarship thrown in as I am 'dyslexic'. The summer scholarships aren't that impressive, as in they are only about $3,000 worth, but then I only have to go in for a week or two - and there is a bit of discussion on what they want me to do.... Either taking the project I have been working on for the last 6 months further, or if I am to simply get a head start on Quantum mechanics for next year. Who really cares -- after all, its got to be better than working the braindead job I currently do. Oh, and I pitty for the poor bastards who have me as a tutor next year - Mechanics was bad enough when I did it - Now me and one of my mates are taking the entire thing off our supervisers hands (he was amost indecently keen to get rid of it).

I just finshed reading my lastest set of books (Mostly Murikami) and am concidering spending a majority of my scholarship on books. I probably shouldn't, but then I have always been missing the little angel which should tell you not to naughty things. :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

AH, and the office nerd-dom has reach another hight --One of my supervisors came into my part of the honours office yesterday, and along with the other guy who works in my "corner" proceeded to have a lengthy discussion about cheese and wine and all things digestible. After several hours we all agreed (that is once the entire office became involved in the conversation) that once a month we could have a cheese and wine day - meaning instead of doing the stuff that the uni pays us for, we'll spend it eating cheese, and drinking wine, though the engineer in me thinks that beer may have to come into the equation. This could become problematic for me as my work on Fridays is from 5 til 9, as it always is every other day of the week, but how I can withstand the pressure of university funded binging? AH, I suppose the only thing to say is where there is a will, there is a way.

On my rant from last week, I am still of the opinion that the world is very very wrong. How can people sit by and just allow things that we all know effect people outside our own little world to occur. Although I agree that peoples opinions are slowly diverging, and that is half of the problem that we face, should it be considered that you still have to actually care in some way or another, and shouldn't there be something of an accord between those who believe in the enlightenment of others, and those who care only for themselves? I almost believe that a majority of my hatred for others isn't based on me being totally insane, but on the fact that I feel that people are too apathetic towards the world, and this apathy is what turns me off and make me feel resentment and dislike. When you meet someone else who seems to care about what is going on and how flawed the world is, it is almost shocking. Most of my friends in the office are totally based on their research, and don't have much interest in the goings on outside themselves, although they do seem to enjoy the topic of social interactions and social structures amusing. I was scared that I was lapsing into imagined selfishness and insinuation, though considering how the last few months have been, this might not be a bad thing. Mums ashes are being scattering on Friday next week. I still don't think I've told anyone outside the people who absolutely have to know. I really don't want to deal with sympathy, real or faked. The world is too frustrating to add that to it as well.

Having said that, I though, only because I know that nobody I know reads my blog, I share my little joy - which I find totally at odds with the world, and totally unexpected. I have to unfortunately do chemistry classes this semester - one is a first year fundamentals that I( for unknown reasons) was unable to pass in my actual first year - something I am mystified about as so far I have aced the course, and am unable to work out where the hard stuff factors in..... Hmmm. The other chemistry class I did out of interest, one of my favourite lecturers started a new course and I joined in ( food chemistry, never thought I'd see the day), and this has been equally as interesting. ANYHOW, before I get sidetracked, I walked into my first class, and was setting up the equipment, when 'she' walked in. I don't know if you can ever say someone 'blew' your breath away, but she did. So much so, that I wasn't able to talk to her during the first class (a first believe me, usually you can't shut me up, and most of my lecturers have gotten use to my inessent questioning, and know me by name), and just kinda "bubbled" though the class. I think the week between these classes was the longest I'd ever had, as I could only think of somehow getting her to come out at least to lunch after class with me. Come the next lab, somehow I managed to 1 - talk to her, and 2-ask her out for lunch (which, since it was 1130, was a bit funny). And throughout lunch (which was at a little place in hardware lane - 'beetroot'), I couldn't stop talking... nervous again. Somehow, she seemed to enjoy my almost constant chattering, and along with teasing me about being 'skinny boy', also informed me that I talk allot :/. But then on what Ill call our first date, the shoe changed, and she out talked me 100:1. And is it sad to say that, although she is gorgeous, the most amazing thing is her eyes, they emit something that is both calming and reassuring, like black pearl which has hard edges but are still somehow unblemished and perfect.

Although I haven't changed my previous opinion, I have to say that I do believe in what Camus writes and what Evaf posulates - feelings can never be converted to words, and although nothing is written in absolute terms, verything is heading towards something - choas simply cannot be - 'god does not play dice'.

Oh well, as my supervisor is coming back to Melbourne on Monday (he has spent the last two months in Italy (uni pays again) talking about Quantum mechanics, and eating (by his own admission) vast amounts of really really ridiculously good Italian food) I may start talking about my project, which while it is going well-ish, has a long way to come and where else is it better to meander the meaning of Monte Carlo than here?