Calculus through C

Due to my evil supervisor, I'd had to program UNIX to calculate a minima via three methods - Bisection, Newton and Heuristic. Fun. I managed to forget to unassigned pointers for some of the variables, and so my tiny, "cute" program crashed my friends new quad core computer... Sigh. Hope can only come with the fact that it is more flexible as MATLAB program

Reminiscing really doesn't work

I thought I'd cheer myself up this morning by reminiscing about "happier times". I pulled out my photo album and looked over photos I'd had taken of me over the last 23 years of my life. Of course this is among the stupidest thing I could have done. Seeing mum brought back that pain. And then seeing G made it worse. Because she has a blog - and, mostly because I'd been blocking all thoughts regarding her the last few months, I haven't thought of looking at it. Unfortunately I did today. I can safely say I'm not going to interact with ANYONE for the next few days.

Only problem is the people I live with. My brother came into my room, and as usually, wanted me to do something for him. On seeing my bright green eyes (when I'm upset, my eyes change from sea green to a emerald green), he hesitated for a second before saying "can you drive me to the MCG?.. We can use my car?". Sometime I wonder about him. I agree. To take him in his car. His cars' battery "pops" out while you drive the car. Halfway home, it pops out. Wonderful. As I'm parking the car outside my house half an hour latter, I watch a guy argue with a girl. She hopped into her car and tried to drive off - AND HE TRIED TO PUSH HER CAR BACK INTO THE CARPARK? What does he think he is, super dickhead or something? God I hate everyone!

Incantation of my truth

It seems that not matter how hard I try, it is impossible to not be an arse-hole. The very thought of getting into the situation I found myself in makes me feel ill. Indeed, I've spent the last six months with my "non-girlfriend" for this exact reason: I don't want to have a relationship. I don't want to feel close to anyone. I don't want to have to deal with anything more than just friends. And then something like this happens. I mean, I though it was just a friendship - not anything more. And when I realised, or more correctly when she made me realise what she thought it was, It had to go. How can I get into this mess again? I assume that there must be someway to avoid it, someway short of becoming a leaper.

The world is just not right. It's like some sort of twisted game that even if you don't want to play, you get stuck into playing.

*@#!*($^!&*(%!*(%^##!&(%^&!*(($_@*)#%*(&.
Hopefully god goes and fucks himself.
Hopefully all of the gods fuck themselves. They all suck.